At my church here in Nashville, we are covering an interesting topic for this time of year: The Book of Revelation. Many of my thoughts on this post come from this series at West End Community Church (and a few are my own)...
There's probably no way to say this without sounding super morbid, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the terrible darkness that fills this world. Sure, there are many joys in this life. I have a wonderfully blessed life, far beyond anything I could ever deserve, and yet still there is a pain in my chest that whispers--no shouts--that this is not the way it was meant to be.
This pain shouts for the broken marriage, for the lonely widow, for the starving orphan, for the abused child. It shouts for the parents who must bury a child and for the desperately sick who are counting their final days on this earth and for the women who are trafficked as if they were nothing but merchandise.
And if I'm being honest, the pain in my chest turns into anger--anger against God. Where are you, God? How can you look on as your children suffer and shatter?
Well, I don't know if anybody has the answer to those questions. But whenever I begin to question God's goodness, He always reminds me that I'm looking at it all wrong. Two words that He often speaks to me are: Eternal Perspective.
This is where the Book of Revelation enters the picture. I won't pretend to understand all of the complexities of the book, but I do want to focus on one particular scene in Revelation 19: The Marriage Supper of the Lamb.
Revelation 19: 6-9 (ESV)
Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
8 it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”
Whenever I try to picture this scene, I always think of either 1)some grand building from Narnia, 2)the banquet hall at the Biltmore Estate, or 3)the dining hall at Duke University (aka Hogwarts).
Just picture this: The Lord Himself is holding a glorious wedding celebration at his banquet table, and we are His treasured Bride. As the pastor pointed out on Sunday, it was customary in Bible times for the groom to pay a "bride price" so that he could marry the bride. He would negotiate the price with the bride's father, and then he would go away to build a home for his bride.
Later on in this passage, Jesus is described as wearing a robe dipped in blood. This represents the "bride price" Jesus paid for us- His very own life. This is the price He paid so that we could wear white-- "fine linen, bright and pure."
In this moment, the price has been paid, the waiting period is over, our heavenly home is ready, and there is nothing left to do but celebrate the eternal union of the Bride and the Groom. I wonder what it will be like--not just the marriage supper, but the whole thing.
What will it be like to be welcomed into eternity? God's banquet table- a place where starving orphans will be welcomed and fed and will finally experience family; a place where the ache in the widow's heart will finally be filled; a place where nobody will ever fear or grieve or cry or sin again.
Eternity is the place where we will finally and forever be free. How I long for the freedom to feel joyous anticipation and unhindered connection and the fullness of love! My anxious heart will be forever calmed, and I will finally see with my eyes what my heart and mind struggle to believe--that He is Trustworthy and True.
Dear friend, what are you longing for?
So when I get angry, and I accuse God of being absent from the suffering of His children in this world, I remember that He is not absent. He is not standing back at a distant. He came in the flesh as a baby. He came to us, and He is coming again.
And the pain in my chest still shouts "this is not the way it was meant to be", but a stiller, smaller voice whispers: "this is not the way it will be." Hope is born in Bethlehem.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Under the Knife
The only surgery I've ever undergone was oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth. I don't know if that really even counts as a surgery- it's more like a rite of passage. Nevertheless, it was not a good time. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed the pain, chipmunk-esque swelling, and fainting (that pain medication is no joke, people), I'm glad to have put that experience behind me.
I fully realize that wisdom teeth removal hardly qualifies as major surgery, but it still follows the pattern of most other surgeries.
A)Something doesn't feel right.*
B) You go to the doctor.
C) The doctor (hopefully) discovers the source of the problem.
D) The doctor tells you that you need surgery in order to fix the problem.*
E) You schedule the surgery.*
F) You go to your surgical appointment and undergo surgery.
G) You make a full recovery (yay, you!).
Fact: Sometimes, step A) does not apply (like when you are just minding your own business at your dental appointment, only to discover that your wisdom teeth are impacted).
The really interesting thing about this process is that you have some big choices to make along the way (see *'s). At step A), you could decide that you're not going to the doctor. Something is definitely not right, but you'll just tough it out...be a man...rub some dirt in it. At steps D) and E), you could decide that it's all just a little too much for you- too scary, too risky, too unknown. You know you have a problem, but you can't face the pain or uncertainty of surgery. Maybe you're in denial, or maybe you're just too scared to show up.
Now, if you choose to ignore the problem, there will be consequences. The severity of these consequences depends on your diagnosis, but you're definitely tempting fate at this point. To use an extreme example, think of a patient who has just been told she has breast cancer (FYI October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!). This particular type of cancer is normally very treatable if caught early. However, this woman still has a choice to make. She can show up for the surgery and get that cancer out, or she can let denial and fear take over and never come in at all. What will happen? Left untreated, the cancer will kill her. But with treatment, she can expect to make a full recovery. What would you do?
Hopefully, that choice is a pretty obvious one. But, what if that scenario was really a metaphor for the process of sanctification (the process of being made more holy or Christ-like)?
Along the way in our Christian walk, the Holy Spirit is always convicting us of sin and calling us to repentance. This is an act of mercy and kindness. Romans 2:4b- "God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance."
But, it has also been my experience that there are times when you will be told that you need major surgery. There will be times when the Holy Spirit brings some aspect of your life into illumination and gently shows you that you have a cancer that is destroying you. The good news: This cancer can be removed with surgery. The bad news: God will not be using anesthesia.
And now you have a choice to make. You could live in denial and never come in for surgery. You could let fear and uncertainty overtake you as well. Or, you could submit yourself to the authority of God and allow Him to do the work that must be done.
In the Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustace undergoes a divine surgery of this nature when Aslan transforms him from a dragon back into a boy.
“Edmund asked Eustace, ‘So what was it like when Aslan changed you back?’Eustace answered, ‘No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t do it (change from a dragon back into a boy) myself. Then He (Aslan) came towards me. It sort of hurt – but it was a good pain, like when you pull a thorn from your foot.’"
Divine surgery, as I have come to think of it, is characterized by a pain that brings both agony and healing. Relient K said it well in their song:
Let it All Out
Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there
And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength
And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light
So, if you're desperate, let Him do His work in you. If you can't do it yourself, let Him do His work in you. If the cancer inside you is stealing your very life, let Him do His work in you. Yes, it will hurt. And yes, He will heal.
I fully realize that wisdom teeth removal hardly qualifies as major surgery, but it still follows the pattern of most other surgeries.
A)Something doesn't feel right.*
B) You go to the doctor.
C) The doctor (hopefully) discovers the source of the problem.
D) The doctor tells you that you need surgery in order to fix the problem.*
E) You schedule the surgery.*
F) You go to your surgical appointment and undergo surgery.
G) You make a full recovery (yay, you!).
Fact: Sometimes, step A) does not apply (like when you are just minding your own business at your dental appointment, only to discover that your wisdom teeth are impacted).
The really interesting thing about this process is that you have some big choices to make along the way (see *'s). At step A), you could decide that you're not going to the doctor. Something is definitely not right, but you'll just tough it out...be a man...rub some dirt in it. At steps D) and E), you could decide that it's all just a little too much for you- too scary, too risky, too unknown. You know you have a problem, but you can't face the pain or uncertainty of surgery. Maybe you're in denial, or maybe you're just too scared to show up.
Now, if you choose to ignore the problem, there will be consequences. The severity of these consequences depends on your diagnosis, but you're definitely tempting fate at this point. To use an extreme example, think of a patient who has just been told she has breast cancer (FYI October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!). This particular type of cancer is normally very treatable if caught early. However, this woman still has a choice to make. She can show up for the surgery and get that cancer out, or she can let denial and fear take over and never come in at all. What will happen? Left untreated, the cancer will kill her. But with treatment, she can expect to make a full recovery. What would you do?
Hopefully, that choice is a pretty obvious one. But, what if that scenario was really a metaphor for the process of sanctification (the process of being made more holy or Christ-like)?
Along the way in our Christian walk, the Holy Spirit is always convicting us of sin and calling us to repentance. This is an act of mercy and kindness. Romans 2:4b- "God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance."
But, it has also been my experience that there are times when you will be told that you need major surgery. There will be times when the Holy Spirit brings some aspect of your life into illumination and gently shows you that you have a cancer that is destroying you. The good news: This cancer can be removed with surgery. The bad news: God will not be using anesthesia.
And now you have a choice to make. You could live in denial and never come in for surgery. You could let fear and uncertainty overtake you as well. Or, you could submit yourself to the authority of God and allow Him to do the work that must be done.
In the Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustace undergoes a divine surgery of this nature when Aslan transforms him from a dragon back into a boy.
“Edmund asked Eustace, ‘So what was it like when Aslan changed you back?’Eustace answered, ‘No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t do it (change from a dragon back into a boy) myself. Then He (Aslan) came towards me. It sort of hurt – but it was a good pain, like when you pull a thorn from your foot.’"
Divine surgery, as I have come to think of it, is characterized by a pain that brings both agony and healing. Relient K said it well in their song:
Let it All Out
Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there
And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength
And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light
So, if you're desperate, let Him do His work in you. If you can't do it yourself, let Him do His work in you. If the cancer inside you is stealing your very life, let Him do His work in you. Yes, it will hurt. And yes, He will heal.
Monday, September 2, 2013
A Good Father: Mr. Wrong's Worst Nightmare
I've been pretty discouraged by some of the most recent happenings in Hollywood and the media regarding the portrayal and treatment of women. If you know me well, you know that I get really fired up about this issue. And lately, Hollywood has given me plenty to get fired up about.
Let me just get a few things off my chest here. I feel like they really need to be said.
Dear Women,
Some men would use their strength to abuse and dominate you, but you deserve a man who will use his strength to protect and lead you.
Some men would view you as no more than an object for their sexual gratification, but you deserve a man who will view you as an equal heir of God's grace- because that is what you are.
Some men would pressure you to give them things they don't have a right to take, but you deserve a man who will do everything in his power to defend your purity.
Some men would see and pursue only a body, but you deserve a man who sees and pursues your mind and heart.
Some men would consider only what they can take from you, but you deserve a man who is more concerned with what he can give to you.
This past weekend, I was sitting at Panera Bread with a dear friend. We were talking about our adventures (or lack thereof) in the early 20's dating scene. After reminiscing over some recent failures, my friend and I began to bemoan how many times we've been told that our standards are too high. She said something to the effect of: "These guys tell me that I'm being too picky and unrealistic, but all I know is I've seen my Dad do these things. I know it's not unrealistic because he's doing it."
I started to think about what she was saying. We both have great fathers. They do everything they can to protect us, provide for us, and promote our wholeness and well-being. They tell us that we are beautiful and smart. They tell us that we deserve respect and love. They model for us the type of guy we should date and marry.
We are Mr. Wrong's worst nightmare. We are women with wonderful fathers. Due to their godly influence, we know a gentleman when we see one.
Before I go any further, I know that some women reading this have been hurt, abused, abandoned, betrayed, or disappointed at the hand of their own fathers. I am genuinely sorry that happened to you. I won't pretend to know how you feel, but I have seen the devastation brought on by this type of hurt. I know it affects you in deep and long-lasting ways. But, I want to offer hope- hope that you may already know about. I pray it somehow falls fresh on your heart this time: No matter how wonderful or terrible your earthly father may be, you can know the perfect Heavenly Father as your Daddy. This Heavenly Father has created you, placed His love on you, and sent His only Son to die in your place to rescue you from sin and restore you to a right relationship with Him. HE SPARED NO THING, NOT EVEN HIS ONLY SON, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO KNOW YOU. How's that for rejecting passivity?
Much like a good earthly father, our Heavenly Father protects us, provides for us, and is always working for our ultimate good. Never forget that you have a Heavenly Father who already treats you like a lady- take your cues from Him alone. Forget the magazine covers, the music videos, the movies and television shows, the pressure, the fear, all of it. You don't have to believe it. You don't have to internalize it as truth. We all make mistakes- no matter how wonderful our earthly fathers may be- we are still human. When that happens, look to the Truth, and let Him set you free. If we let Him, He will help us see our worth and understand the type of guy we should date and eventually marry. We can all be Mr. Wrong's worst nightmare- women with a wonderful Father.
John 8:32- "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:36- "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Let me just get a few things off my chest here. I feel like they really need to be said.
Dear Women,
Some men would use their strength to abuse and dominate you, but you deserve a man who will use his strength to protect and lead you.
Some men would view you as no more than an object for their sexual gratification, but you deserve a man who will view you as an equal heir of God's grace- because that is what you are.
Some men would pressure you to give them things they don't have a right to take, but you deserve a man who will do everything in his power to defend your purity.
Some men would see and pursue only a body, but you deserve a man who sees and pursues your mind and heart.
Some men would consider only what they can take from you, but you deserve a man who is more concerned with what he can give to you.
This past weekend, I was sitting at Panera Bread with a dear friend. We were talking about our adventures (or lack thereof) in the early 20's dating scene. After reminiscing over some recent failures, my friend and I began to bemoan how many times we've been told that our standards are too high. She said something to the effect of: "These guys tell me that I'm being too picky and unrealistic, but all I know is I've seen my Dad do these things. I know it's not unrealistic because he's doing it."
I started to think about what she was saying. We both have great fathers. They do everything they can to protect us, provide for us, and promote our wholeness and well-being. They tell us that we are beautiful and smart. They tell us that we deserve respect and love. They model for us the type of guy we should date and marry.
We are Mr. Wrong's worst nightmare. We are women with wonderful fathers. Due to their godly influence, we know a gentleman when we see one.
Before I go any further, I know that some women reading this have been hurt, abused, abandoned, betrayed, or disappointed at the hand of their own fathers. I am genuinely sorry that happened to you. I won't pretend to know how you feel, but I have seen the devastation brought on by this type of hurt. I know it affects you in deep and long-lasting ways. But, I want to offer hope- hope that you may already know about. I pray it somehow falls fresh on your heart this time: No matter how wonderful or terrible your earthly father may be, you can know the perfect Heavenly Father as your Daddy. This Heavenly Father has created you, placed His love on you, and sent His only Son to die in your place to rescue you from sin and restore you to a right relationship with Him. HE SPARED NO THING, NOT EVEN HIS ONLY SON, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO KNOW YOU. How's that for rejecting passivity?
Much like a good earthly father, our Heavenly Father protects us, provides for us, and is always working for our ultimate good. Never forget that you have a Heavenly Father who already treats you like a lady- take your cues from Him alone. Forget the magazine covers, the music videos, the movies and television shows, the pressure, the fear, all of it. You don't have to believe it. You don't have to internalize it as truth. We all make mistakes- no matter how wonderful our earthly fathers may be- we are still human. When that happens, look to the Truth, and let Him set you free. If we let Him, He will help us see our worth and understand the type of guy we should date and eventually marry. We can all be Mr. Wrong's worst nightmare- women with a wonderful Father.
John 8:32- "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:36- "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Thursday, August 22, 2013
(The Best) Days of Our Lives...
Five years ago (how has it already been 5 years???), I was preparing to make my grand entrance into the collegiate world as a freshman at UT. Armed with overpriced textbooks (seriously, it's highway robbery), coordinating green and pink bedroom decor (my roommate and I planned our comforters to match), and lent rollers that doubled as a vacuum for the area rug in our dorm room, I was ready to divide and conquer.
Haven't you heard? The 4 (or more) years you spend as an undergraduate in college are the "best years of your life." Or, so I was told by pretty much everyone. As a doe-eyed 18 year-old college freshman, that was an exciting thing to hear.
Things tend to look a little different on the other side, though, and I can't help but wonder where that leaves me now. I graduated at 22, and now, a year after graduation, am I supposed to believe that my best days are already behind me? Now there's a good graduation speech: "Congratulations, graduates! Your best years are behind you, and at the ripe old age of 22, you can be assured that it's all downhill from here!"
It kinda feels like that sometimes. College is over. No more college roommates, no more campus ministry (read: instant community), no more free summers. It just got real. Sometimes it seems like everyone is so eager to focus on the greatness of college that they forget to warn you about the monumental changes that are coming right after the diploma.
As a one year (and counting) survivor of college graduation, let me assure you that while college is indeed an incredible and unique time in your life, your best days are not over. I think what we really mean is that our selfish days are over. Is that too harsh? College is kind of the last frontier of selfishness (and I don't necessarily mean that in an entirely negative way). We have more free and unmonitored time than ever (no parents on the one hand, and no bosses on the other hand), we (generally) have no spouse, no children...no other people in need of our constant time and attention, we are surrounding by natural and effortless community (campus ministries, social clubs, roommates), and let's face it, we have tons of fun (we live with our friends, take road trips, eat milkshakes at all hours, etc).
After college, responsibility comes quickly in new forms and from all directions: jobs, family, bills, home ownership, insurance, etc. However, in an unprecedented plot twist, responsibility swoops in, plays the hero, and frees us from our own selfishness. It frees us to dream bigger dreams than making an A on the test or throwing the best party. It frees us up to dream about what we could be to other people and to the world.
I just started graduate school this week, and for the next 2+ years, I will be studying to be a counselor. Things already seem different. When I read a textbook, or listen to a lecture, or complete an assignment, my goal is to understand the material more than it is to make an A on the test. As an undergrad, I just wanted the A, and I would do whatever necessary (usually cramming the night before...or morning of...) to make that happen. "Graduate Nancy" has to change because this is my future career. This is my professional competence. This is the well-being of my future clients. This is responsibility.
Maybe you're in graduate school too. Study hard- you'll actually need to remember this information later! Maybe you're in your first job. Don't run from all the new responsibility- let it free you up to dream big dreams. Work hard- you never know when you'll find yourself in a place of influence.
Let's be real. I hope and pray that my best days were not my undergraduate days. If watching endless hours of One Tree Hill is as good as it gets, I'm out. If my biggest accomplishment is getting an A in Physiology, I'm out. I'd like to think that my best days will be in the counseling office sitting across from a client or sharing family dinners with my husband and children or welcoming my first grandchild into the world. These are big dreams.
Recent college grad, your best days are NOT over. They are just beginning. You have skills and training to make an impact on the world around you, and now it's time for real-life experience. So experience the gain of responsibility and the freedom from selfishness that will lend you the perspective you need to be a change in the world.
Haven't you heard? The 4 (or more) years you spend as an undergraduate in college are the "best years of your life." Or, so I was told by pretty much everyone. As a doe-eyed 18 year-old college freshman, that was an exciting thing to hear.
Things tend to look a little different on the other side, though, and I can't help but wonder where that leaves me now. I graduated at 22, and now, a year after graduation, am I supposed to believe that my best days are already behind me? Now there's a good graduation speech: "Congratulations, graduates! Your best years are behind you, and at the ripe old age of 22, you can be assured that it's all downhill from here!"
It kinda feels like that sometimes. College is over. No more college roommates, no more campus ministry (read: instant community), no more free summers. It just got real. Sometimes it seems like everyone is so eager to focus on the greatness of college that they forget to warn you about the monumental changes that are coming right after the diploma.
As a one year (and counting) survivor of college graduation, let me assure you that while college is indeed an incredible and unique time in your life, your best days are not over. I think what we really mean is that our selfish days are over. Is that too harsh? College is kind of the last frontier of selfishness (and I don't necessarily mean that in an entirely negative way). We have more free and unmonitored time than ever (no parents on the one hand, and no bosses on the other hand), we (generally) have no spouse, no children...no other people in need of our constant time and attention, we are surrounding by natural and effortless community (campus ministries, social clubs, roommates), and let's face it, we have tons of fun (we live with our friends, take road trips, eat milkshakes at all hours, etc).
After college, responsibility comes quickly in new forms and from all directions: jobs, family, bills, home ownership, insurance, etc. However, in an unprecedented plot twist, responsibility swoops in, plays the hero, and frees us from our own selfishness. It frees us to dream bigger dreams than making an A on the test or throwing the best party. It frees us up to dream about what we could be to other people and to the world.
I just started graduate school this week, and for the next 2+ years, I will be studying to be a counselor. Things already seem different. When I read a textbook, or listen to a lecture, or complete an assignment, my goal is to understand the material more than it is to make an A on the test. As an undergrad, I just wanted the A, and I would do whatever necessary (usually cramming the night before...or morning of...) to make that happen. "Graduate Nancy" has to change because this is my future career. This is my professional competence. This is the well-being of my future clients. This is responsibility.
Maybe you're in graduate school too. Study hard- you'll actually need to remember this information later! Maybe you're in your first job. Don't run from all the new responsibility- let it free you up to dream big dreams. Work hard- you never know when you'll find yourself in a place of influence.
Let's be real. I hope and pray that my best days were not my undergraduate days. If watching endless hours of One Tree Hill is as good as it gets, I'm out. If my biggest accomplishment is getting an A in Physiology, I'm out. I'd like to think that my best days will be in the counseling office sitting across from a client or sharing family dinners with my husband and children or welcoming my first grandchild into the world. These are big dreams.
Recent college grad, your best days are NOT over. They are just beginning. You have skills and training to make an impact on the world around you, and now it's time for real-life experience. So experience the gain of responsibility and the freedom from selfishness that will lend you the perspective you need to be a change in the world.
Friday, August 16, 2013
10 Awesome Things
Raleigh Fellows April/May (final) blog post...
I’ve decided that I’m going to keep the mood light for my last blog post. I think it’s a bit too overwhelming to think about the program ending in a little over a week, so I’ll continue in my state of semi-denial while I recap 10 awesome things the fellows did this year (in no particular order because they are all awesome…actually, it’s in chronological order–couldn’t resist)…
1. Went for a midnight swim at the beach (on our first day as fellows).
2. Visited the Charlotte Whitewater Rafting Center and went down the rapids.
3. Performed a skit involving a life-sized All-State bear at the Regional Fellows Conference.
4. Gave a live lobster as a Secret Santa gift (actually, that was mainly me..). Technically, it was my host mom’s idea:).
5. Dined in a room full of dead animals (think taxidermy).
6. Went ziplining and/or sailing with youth group students (depending on our age group).
7. Went indoor skydiving (thanks, Lou!).
8. Took a trip to NYC and met some pretty famous people.
9. Celebrated an engagement (yay Ellison and Carter!!).
10. Met all the other 2013 Fellows at the National Conference in Washington, D.C.
And we’re going to Kiawah!!! That’s #11.
Seriously, this year as a Raleigh Fellow has been incredible. I’ve done things I probably will never get another chance to do (and things I probably would never have done on my own). It’s been a wild ride, and I am more than blessed for the fun and the growth that has happened this year.
Thank you, Raleigh family! Thank you, Lord! This has been an amazing year!
Nancy
I’ve decided that I’m going to keep the mood light for my last blog post. I think it’s a bit too overwhelming to think about the program ending in a little over a week, so I’ll continue in my state of semi-denial while I recap 10 awesome things the fellows did this year (in no particular order because they are all awesome…actually, it’s in chronological order–couldn’t resist)…
1. Went for a midnight swim at the beach (on our first day as fellows).
2. Visited the Charlotte Whitewater Rafting Center and went down the rapids.
3. Performed a skit involving a life-sized All-State bear at the Regional Fellows Conference.
4. Gave a live lobster as a Secret Santa gift (actually, that was mainly me..). Technically, it was my host mom’s idea:).
5. Dined in a room full of dead animals (think taxidermy).
6. Went ziplining and/or sailing with youth group students (depending on our age group).
7. Went indoor skydiving (thanks, Lou!).
8. Took a trip to NYC and met some pretty famous people.
9. Celebrated an engagement (yay Ellison and Carter!!).
10. Met all the other 2013 Fellows at the National Conference in Washington, D.C.
And we’re going to Kiawah!!! That’s #11.
Seriously, this year as a Raleigh Fellow has been incredible. I’ve done things I probably will never get another chance to do (and things I probably would never have done on my own). It’s been a wild ride, and I am more than blessed for the fun and the growth that has happened this year.
Thank you, Raleigh family! Thank you, Lord! This has been an amazing year!
Nancy
Against All Odds
Raleigh Fellows March post...
For one of our classes in the Fellows Program, we are asked to participate in Morning Prayer from the Book of Common Prayer. I have struggled through this exercise all semester. It’s a completely new concept and style of prayer for me, and my first attempts were awkward and clumsy at best.
But today, on this Good Friday, it didn’t feel awkward and clumsy to go through Morning Prayer. In fact, I felt that the Lord clearly spoke to me through one of today’s passages of Scripture: Genesis 22:1-14, the story of Abraham being tested. Most of us are probably familiar with the story: God tells Abraham he must sacrifice Isaac, his only son. Abraham obeys, motivated by his faith in God. But at the last minute, when his boy is all tied up and the knife is raised in the air, God steps in and provides a ram for the sacrifice in place of Isaac.
This story is particularly pertinent for us today. On this day, we remember how God laid down His Son, His only Son, whom He loved, as the perfect sacrifice for our sin. And this time, as God’s Son was stretched out on the wood of the Cross, and as the nails were placed and the hammer was raised, there was no ram caught in the thicket. God did not hold back, He did not relent. Jesus was the sacrificial Lamb, and His blood was spilled for us all. Incredible.
Back to Genesis. After God provided the ram to be sacrificed in Isaac’s place, Abraham named that place “The Lord will provide.” Against all odds, God provided a ram for Isaac. Abraham must have wondered how it would all turn out. He demonstrated incredible faith on the journey to the site of the sacrifice, but his mind must have been racing with possibilities and fears and worries and doubts. How would this end? Could his son be saved?
Fast forward to the Cross. Humanity was in a perilous spot, to say the least. Separated from God, drowning in sin, helpless to pay our debt or to escape from ourselves. And against all odds, when there seemed to be no hope, Jesus stepped into the story and made a way for love and justice to intersect and bring salvation.
Our God is the God who provides. That’s what He does. He provided for Abraham and Isaac. He provided for the world. And He provides for you and me. No matter how dark or light or windy or straight or bumpy or smooth or long or short your road, He is with you and will provide everything you need. Against all odds.
May you remember and experience the depth of love and sacrifice poured out for you on this Good Friday, and may you drink deeply of the joy and hope waiting for you on Easter morning.
Nancy Childers
For one of our classes in the Fellows Program, we are asked to participate in Morning Prayer from the Book of Common Prayer. I have struggled through this exercise all semester. It’s a completely new concept and style of prayer for me, and my first attempts were awkward and clumsy at best.
But today, on this Good Friday, it didn’t feel awkward and clumsy to go through Morning Prayer. In fact, I felt that the Lord clearly spoke to me through one of today’s passages of Scripture: Genesis 22:1-14, the story of Abraham being tested. Most of us are probably familiar with the story: God tells Abraham he must sacrifice Isaac, his only son. Abraham obeys, motivated by his faith in God. But at the last minute, when his boy is all tied up and the knife is raised in the air, God steps in and provides a ram for the sacrifice in place of Isaac.
This story is particularly pertinent for us today. On this day, we remember how God laid down His Son, His only Son, whom He loved, as the perfect sacrifice for our sin. And this time, as God’s Son was stretched out on the wood of the Cross, and as the nails were placed and the hammer was raised, there was no ram caught in the thicket. God did not hold back, He did not relent. Jesus was the sacrificial Lamb, and His blood was spilled for us all. Incredible.
Back to Genesis. After God provided the ram to be sacrificed in Isaac’s place, Abraham named that place “The Lord will provide.” Against all odds, God provided a ram for Isaac. Abraham must have wondered how it would all turn out. He demonstrated incredible faith on the journey to the site of the sacrifice, but his mind must have been racing with possibilities and fears and worries and doubts. How would this end? Could his son be saved?
Fast forward to the Cross. Humanity was in a perilous spot, to say the least. Separated from God, drowning in sin, helpless to pay our debt or to escape from ourselves. And against all odds, when there seemed to be no hope, Jesus stepped into the story and made a way for love and justice to intersect and bring salvation.
Our God is the God who provides. That’s what He does. He provided for Abraham and Isaac. He provided for the world. And He provides for you and me. No matter how dark or light or windy or straight or bumpy or smooth or long or short your road, He is with you and will provide everything you need. Against all odds.
May you remember and experience the depth of love and sacrifice poured out for you on this Good Friday, and may you drink deeply of the joy and hope waiting for you on Easter morning.
Nancy Childers
Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood
Raleigh Fellows February post...
…and I took the one with the zipline.
Last weekend, four of the Fellows loaded up into 15-passenger vans with the Church of the Apostles high school youth group, and we headed to West Virginia for Adventures on the Gorge, a treetop ziplining course. Although each of us had visions of ziplining in the snow, we were greeted with mild temperatures and warm sunshine. I can’t say that I was too disappointed!
The ziplining course was a blast! There were ten ziplines and several swinging bridges. We raced through the air from one treetop platform to the next, braking just in time to avoid slamming into the beautiful trees that were holding them up. Luckily, the trees were padded just in case, so I remained injury-free both times I ran into them!
At one point during the weekend, I was reminiscing over the high ropes and zipline course at the camp where I worked last summer. And I remembered that ziplines are my favorite analogy for the experience of trusting God.
Is that weird? Let me explain…
At summer camp, I remember sitting on the edge of a treetop platform with my harness and helmet on, when the high ropes instructor told me that I could go down the zipline whenever I was ready. I asked if he could please just push me off. I really didn’t think that I could willfully fling myself off of a platform only to plummet to a bloody death below. He said no, that I had to do it myself.
So, I sat there a minute and considered what to do. I knew that I was harnessed in and that my helmet was securely fastened on my fragile noggin. I knew I was safe and that I could trust the equipment. After all, I’d seen most of my friends go down the zipline earlier that day. Still, something was holding me back. And that something was the half a second just after your butt leaves the comfort of the platform and before your harness catches on the zipline. You know, that moment when no matter what you tell yourself, your brain thinks you are mere seconds away from certain death. And worst of all, my hands had no place to hold on. I was just supposed to let my harness do all the “holding on” for me. I’m sorry, you want me to do what?? I’ll take some handlebars, please.
Well, I’d made it that far and didn’t want to miss out on the fun, so I pushed myself off. My heart skipped a beat and my lungs let out a shrill cry as my harness caught and held my weight in mid-air. I was flying…at least that’s how it felt. What a rush! For a brief moment in time, I just enjoyed the view and the sensation of letting go and losing control over my own body. And then I landed in a cargo net and got really tangled and tripped on my way out of the cargo net, but that’s not the point of the story.
How very much like trusting God! I know I’m safe. I’ve seen other people trust Him, surrendering their control and their fears. But, I’m still afraid. What if He DOESN’T catch me this time? But, He patiently waits for me to choose surrender- for me to push myself off of the platform. And though I’ll completely lose control, and I’ll have nothing to hold onto, my “harness” is securely connected to the “zipline”–I’m not going off-course.
Ziplining and trusting God are not all that much different. I would’ve missed alot that day had I not left the platform, and I would’ve missed alot if I hadn’t trusted God to come to Raleigh. And we’ll all miss alot if we aren’t willing to let go of the reigns and put our complete trust in God. Flying is fun, it turns out, but you can’t fly unless you make the choice to let go. Oh, trusting God. A lesson you can learn a thousand times and yet still learn once more.
So here I am, a frequent-flyer who’s still afraid to let go. I find myself standing at a fork in the road. Where will I go next year? I am staring down two equally wonderful paths, knowing that various pieces of my heart lie down both paths, and knowing that since I can choose only one path, a broken heart is inevitable this time.
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler.”
-Robert Frost
Robert Frost gets me.
And I have no idea which path to choose. I’m praying and taking action where I can and mainly waiting. And I’m reminding myself of ziplining and trusting in the Lord, who is far more trustworthy than a harness and a wire fastened to two trees. He is the Rock of Ages. He is the Sovereign Lord. He is the Alpha and Omega. He never changes. He knows me, and He knows the future, and He has good plans in store for all of His children.
Psalm 56:9b
This I know, that God is for me.
Nancy Childers
…and I took the one with the zipline.
Last weekend, four of the Fellows loaded up into 15-passenger vans with the Church of the Apostles high school youth group, and we headed to West Virginia for Adventures on the Gorge, a treetop ziplining course. Although each of us had visions of ziplining in the snow, we were greeted with mild temperatures and warm sunshine. I can’t say that I was too disappointed!
The ziplining course was a blast! There were ten ziplines and several swinging bridges. We raced through the air from one treetop platform to the next, braking just in time to avoid slamming into the beautiful trees that were holding them up. Luckily, the trees were padded just in case, so I remained injury-free both times I ran into them!
At one point during the weekend, I was reminiscing over the high ropes and zipline course at the camp where I worked last summer. And I remembered that ziplines are my favorite analogy for the experience of trusting God.
Is that weird? Let me explain…
At summer camp, I remember sitting on the edge of a treetop platform with my harness and helmet on, when the high ropes instructor told me that I could go down the zipline whenever I was ready. I asked if he could please just push me off. I really didn’t think that I could willfully fling myself off of a platform only to plummet to a bloody death below. He said no, that I had to do it myself.
So, I sat there a minute and considered what to do. I knew that I was harnessed in and that my helmet was securely fastened on my fragile noggin. I knew I was safe and that I could trust the equipment. After all, I’d seen most of my friends go down the zipline earlier that day. Still, something was holding me back. And that something was the half a second just after your butt leaves the comfort of the platform and before your harness catches on the zipline. You know, that moment when no matter what you tell yourself, your brain thinks you are mere seconds away from certain death. And worst of all, my hands had no place to hold on. I was just supposed to let my harness do all the “holding on” for me. I’m sorry, you want me to do what?? I’ll take some handlebars, please.
Well, I’d made it that far and didn’t want to miss out on the fun, so I pushed myself off. My heart skipped a beat and my lungs let out a shrill cry as my harness caught and held my weight in mid-air. I was flying…at least that’s how it felt. What a rush! For a brief moment in time, I just enjoyed the view and the sensation of letting go and losing control over my own body. And then I landed in a cargo net and got really tangled and tripped on my way out of the cargo net, but that’s not the point of the story.
How very much like trusting God! I know I’m safe. I’ve seen other people trust Him, surrendering their control and their fears. But, I’m still afraid. What if He DOESN’T catch me this time? But, He patiently waits for me to choose surrender- for me to push myself off of the platform. And though I’ll completely lose control, and I’ll have nothing to hold onto, my “harness” is securely connected to the “zipline”–I’m not going off-course.
Ziplining and trusting God are not all that much different. I would’ve missed alot that day had I not left the platform, and I would’ve missed alot if I hadn’t trusted God to come to Raleigh. And we’ll all miss alot if we aren’t willing to let go of the reigns and put our complete trust in God. Flying is fun, it turns out, but you can’t fly unless you make the choice to let go. Oh, trusting God. A lesson you can learn a thousand times and yet still learn once more.
So here I am, a frequent-flyer who’s still afraid to let go. I find myself standing at a fork in the road. Where will I go next year? I am staring down two equally wonderful paths, knowing that various pieces of my heart lie down both paths, and knowing that since I can choose only one path, a broken heart is inevitable this time.
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler.”
-Robert Frost
Robert Frost gets me.
And I have no idea which path to choose. I’m praying and taking action where I can and mainly waiting. And I’m reminding myself of ziplining and trusting in the Lord, who is far more trustworthy than a harness and a wire fastened to two trees. He is the Rock of Ages. He is the Sovereign Lord. He is the Alpha and Omega. He never changes. He knows me, and He knows the future, and He has good plans in store for all of His children.
Psalm 56:9b
This I know, that God is for me.
Nancy Childers
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