Why?

If you've kept up with this blog or had any semi-deep conversation with me in the past 5 years, you know that I've been on quite the existential kick. I've come to ask a lot of questions. Not as much, "Why are we here?". More like, "If God is so good, why does He allow so much suffering?"...and the implicit second question, "Is God even good?"

And I've known some very dear people who have faced unimaginable suffering. As a (former) counseling student...that's another blog post altogether...I've switched from counseling to exercise and nutrition science, and I'm pretty pumped!! Anyway, as a former counseling student, I've participated in my fair share of discussions on what you do NOT say to people who are suffering.

As Christians, I think we have a very well-meaning and pure desire to fix another's suffering as soon as possible. So we frantically toss out trite and even harmful explanations, such as..."God just needed one more angel", "Maybe God is trying to test you", "This could be punishment for an unconfessed sin", "God won't give you more than you can handle" (Really? That Scripture is in reference to temptation, not suffering...but I digress), "He's in a better place now", "You'll get through this, you're strong", etc. We try to slap a band-aid on the pain and move on, all the while neglecting to see that the person is bleeding out. This "fix it, get over it, move on" mentality can also rob us of reaping the treasures inherent in suffering.

It's time to admit it: In the face of deep human suffering, there are no words. There are also no satisfactory answers (on this side of Heaven) to the "Why?" questions of suffering.

In my Introduction to Counseling course during my Fellows year, my teacher suggested that the best way to respond to someone in the throes of deep suffering is to get down with them, look them in the eye, and tell them that you love them and that you're not going to leave them- that you'll figure this out and face this together. Don't try to explain the suffering. Don't trivialize it by reducing it to one of the trite phrases above. Just be there, communicate your love, and let them know that they're not alone.

Why? Because even if you knew exactly why the suffering was happening, and even if you could explain it to that person, would that take away the pain of losing a child or receiving a terrifying diagnosis or learning that a life-long dream is not going to come true? No.

I think we (I'm looking at myself here) tend to assume that if God would just explain Himself, if we could just understand WHY, it wouldn't hurt so bad. I'm not convinced that's true. It still hurts because this is a broken world and because we are human and because whether or not life always makes sense, it just hurts sometimes.

What we need right now, more than an explanation of suffering, is a knowledge that we are loved and that we are not alone in our pain. And we also need to know that we WILL understand someday, and it won't hurt anymore because it'll all be redeemed and restored. And I think this could be a reason why God chooses to speak to us through His Scripture in the way that He does:

Joshua 1:5
"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

John 16:33
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Romans 8:37-39
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"

Do you hear it in these verses (and countless others)? God will never leave you, God is in control of this world, nothing can separate you from God's love, God's grace is sufficient for your suffering.

No existential explanations for the problem of suffering and evil. No trite phrases or simplistic "band-aid" fixes. Just the reassurances of a loving Father that He loves us and will never leave us.

This is what we need more than anything. In our current state, we cannot even being to comprehend the "why". And even if we could understand, would it take away the pain? It might offer some perspective and some reassurance, but I think it would still hurt.

Deuteronomy 29:29
"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."

There's a part of us that will still seek out the "why", and I think that's okay as long as we take it to the Lord and remain watchful against bitterness and fundamental disbelief in God's character.

The truth is that there are many "secret things" we will not and cannot understand right now. They are beyond us, and as Beth Moore says, they are too wonderful for us. But, God has chosen to give us the "things revealed", and they give us plenty to focus our minds on. God has revealed many aspects of His character to us through His Word, and (again, kudos to Beth Moore)we can rest assured that the "secret things" are consistent with His character.

For now, we know that our God loves us, is with us, is in control, and is sufficient for the suffering we will face. And we know that someday we will understand. And it won't hurt anymore. Until then, let us strive to be Christ to one another in our suffering. We may not be able to stop or explain the pain. But we can be there for each other, loving each other in the darkest moments and supporting each other as we wait for the "secret things" to be revealed.