Betrayed by the Mouth

Luke 6:45
"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

I like to pretend that I'm a nice little innocent church girl. Most people buy it, actually. I've been putting on this little act for a very long time, and I'm actually pretty good at it.

But more than I'd like to admit, I am betrayed by my mouth. A judgmental word. A joke at another's expense. A juicy piece of gossip. And there it is. I can't ignore it. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. My mouth is very good at reminding me that despite the act I put on and the reputation I like to protect, my heart is still wrought with sin. I am still very much in need of grace.

Over the summer, I took a class entitled Special Topics in Disordered Eating, and in this class, I learned a lot more about my heart and my mouth.

...Before I explain the connection between Luke 6:45 and a Special Topics class, let me first make this distinction: eating disorders are mental health diagnoses (from the DSM-5) such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder. Disordered eating is a much broader concept that encompasses many behaviors, habits, and patterns that may not meet full criteria for a diagnosis but are nonetheless abnormal. So, as you might guess, disordered eating is much more widespread than full-blown eating disorders.

Moving on...

We are a culture obsessed with appearance. That's not a novel statement. And the evidence is all around- T.V. shows, movies, music videos, magazines (oh, those ridiculous magazines!), fad diets, and on and on. In addition to all this, we can't seem to stop talking about it.

Words. Powerful words. Words that come out before we even think them through.

Three questions to ponder...



1. HOW DO YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR BODY?
When you talk about your body, what do you say? Are you openly critical of the parts of your body you don't like? Do you bash your body in front of others? Do you shame yourself out loud or in your own mind? (Ex: My [insert body part here] is so ugly/fat/big. I've got to get control of myself. I'm such a pig.")

Are you capable of graciously taking a compliment? Or are you quick to dismiss a kind word?

CHALLENGE: Practice thankfulness for all that your body can do- that it is capable of running, lifting weights, holding a child, helping a friend move, enjoying a morning hike, or whatever it is you love to do. And learn to appreciate the things about yourself that have nothing to do with physical appearance. Are you compassionate, servant-hearted, giving? That's beautiful. And graciously accept compliments and kind words from others instead of dismissing them (or bashing yourself in response).



2. HOW DO YOU TALK ABOUT OTHERS?
Are you quick to compliment others for their physical appearance? Do you use this compliment as an additional opportunity to bash yourself? (Ex: "You have great legs! I'm so jealous. I have so much cellulite.")

Do you body-bash others? Do you judge them for how they look? (Ex: "I don't know what happened to Jessica. She used to be so skinny, but now her hips are huge!")It's amazing how we feel it's our inherent right and duty to comment on the bodies of others.

CHALLENGE: Compliment others for character qualities that have nothing to do with the physical- a gracious attitude, a committed work ethic, a forgiving spirit, etc. Look beyond the physical long enough to discover and value the unseen qualities in friends and family.



3. HOW DO YOU TALK ABOUT FOOD?
Have you assigned a moral value to food? Do you classify certain food as "good" foods and others as "bad" foods? Do you call yourself "bad" when you eat "bad" foods (or "good" when you eat "good" foods)? (Ex: "I'm gonna be bad tonight. I'm ordering a cheeseburger and fries. I'll just be really good tomorrow to make up for it.")

A lesson I learned from class: Food is morally neutral. It is neither "good" nor "bad". Yes, it is true that certain foods are more nutrient-dense than others, but there is nothing morally wrong with enjoying less nutritious foods in moderation. You are not "being bad" when you eat dessert.

CHALLENGE: Take the words "good" and "bad" out of your food vocabulary. Enjoy the foods you eat with moderation and balance. You are not a bad person when you eat a brownie, and you are not a good person when you eat a salad.



After completing my class in Disordered Eating, I started to listen to the way I talk about myself, others, and food. And my mouth gave away the condition of my heart. I have some serious work to do, and these questions were written just as much for me as they were for anyone else. So I challenge you to listen to yourself. If you find that you are struggling in this area, join me in the challenge to change the way you talk about your body, other people's bodies, and food. Even if you think you're just kidding. Words are powerful, and in this and many other arenas, they need to be re-purposed for good.

And remember that little ears are listening...and the ears of those who may be especially prone to struggle in this area. Your child, cousin, nephew/niece, sibling, parent, friend, Bible study/Sunday School group, student, patient, anyone. They hear what you say about yourself, others, and food, and you influence the way they think about these things. Be a positive influence.

And don't forget to seek the Lord's help, strength, and wisdom because if you really want to change the words you speak, you need to change the condition of your heart. And you will never be able to change the condition of your heart on your own.

If this resonates with you, I hope you'll join me in my efforts to change the conversation around food, weight, and appearance. And if you observe me in a moment of re-lapse, you are welcomed and encouraged to graciously remind me of this post.